Oh, Connex*, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

* the bus company in Modi’in. They’re French. The French historically don’t like Jews (Napoleon excluded). I think Connex is their revenge.

I hate that your schedule lists only the time you’re leaving the bus depot, leaving us to guess how long it takes from the depot to our stop. Of course, in that guess, we also have to guess which route you might choose to take today.

I hate that you say there’s a #1 bus at 9:15pm. I have only seen a #1 bus in the night - at any time during the night - once.

I hate that in the 2 1/2 weeks we’ve been here, we have 3 times waited fruitlessly for hours for a bus that never came.

I hate that Morey had to wait nearly 3 hours at the mall (which is a 40 minute walk from home), starting at 5:30pm after a very long day in Haifa, only to get a bus that only went to the bus depot and ended. Out of desperation, at 8:00pm, he finally called a friend to please take him home, which he got to at 8:20. He would have walked, but he had bags of groceries. He thought it would be convenient to grab some groceries at the mall, since it’s right near the train station, where he ended up after his trip to Haifa.

I hate that you wouldn’t wait 20 seconds at 2:30 for Morey to cross the street, causing us to miss our transfer to Yishpru Centre, which only comes once an hour. So instead of getting to Yishpru at 3:30, we got there at 4:30. However, I did learn that if this happens again, I’m standing in the door of the bus. The driver can’t move if the door is open.

I hate that after taking the bus home from Yishpro to the bus depot, the #1 bus that STARTS at the bus depot at 9:15pm (straight from the Connex driver’s mouth) never showed. And that Morey, who is sick, and I had to walk home carrying the standing fan that we bought today. Thank G-d it wasn’t a long walk.

I hate that you won’t take us where we want to go: for example Ligat Centre (where our lawyer is) and Shilat (where all the cheap shopping is).

I hate that huge, gas-guzzling, environmentally damaging busses are cruising around town empty. Switch to shuttle busses and run more frequently. And for cryin’ out loud, if there’s NO ONE on the bus, turn down the A/C!!

I hate that huge, gas-guzzling, environmentally damaging busses are cruising around small, narrow, filled-with-children neighbourhood streets. Switch to shuttle busses and leave the big busses on the boulevards.

I hate that busses are empty. Few people take the busses because they are unreliable, so the busses become a second thought, put on the back burner, not considered important, which causes less people to take the busses, creating the classic Catch-22.

I hate that the busses are unreliable, inconsistent and often take you where you want to go only after taking you on a full-on tour of this whole beautiful city. There are no transfers, so to go from one side of the city to the other, you have to take 2 busses, but it costs you 2 trips.

This is why each task we needed to accomplish took us an entire day per task. Yet, when Rachel drove us around town, we were able to take care of 4 things in 2 1/2 hours.

I love Modi’in. I hate the busses.